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Life comes at you fast. One day you’re kicking back with the boys—playing some Super Smash Bros. (Final Destination/No Items/Fox Only)—and then out of nowhere you meet your wife and become a father! Ever think it might be nice if you could find out if you’re a dad before someone starts yelling at you about it?
Check out these clear identifiers that you are probably a dad:
1) You’re vaguely aware of little people in your house that are probably related to you in some way: They might be kids. Unclear.
2) You always have a cool pocket knife at the ready in case you need to open any packages that could easily be opened with your hands: Why use hands when knives?
3) People are complaining that you snore: And you don’t believe it.
4) Your idea of a vacation is sitting in the car alone for 15 minutes or going out to get toilet paper: Better than the Bahamas.
5) Your jokes absolutely kill: Thousands of deaths.
6) You own video game systems that you never get to play: And why are the controllers all sticky?
7) You could swear you got paid last week but there’s nothing in your wallet: Possible you were robbed, however.
8) You say “stop doing that” 117 times a day: Not sure why you’re keeping count.
9) You have absolutely, positively no idea where anything is stored in your house: You have no memory of this place.
10) You are loved way more than you deserve: And if you didn’t before, you probably believe in God.
NOT SATIRE: Dad Saves America is a new YouTube channel dedicated to promoting the critical role fathers play in their children’s lives, and therefore the future of our country.
We’re on a mission to celebrate, empower, and entertain Dads, could-be Dads, and father figures of all stripes. We deliver powerful stories, exclusive interviews, mini-documentaries, and deep dives on a weekly basis to inform and inspire as we build a movement of dads who embrace their heroic calling.
Dads need their own superhero league to take on the challenges of today.
Trust me… watch my video and you will want to join Dad Saves America’s mission.
Dad Saves America