Brought to you by: RevelationMedia
It’s that time of year once again…but is it really? With stores putting out their Christmas decorations earlier and earlier every year, it’s easy for some people to get swept up in the yuletide cheer way too much and way too soon. Wives, we have noticed, seem particularly susceptible. Here are nine warning signs that your wife is a little too excited about Christmas:
- She pressed play on Mariah Carey’s Christmas album at 12:01 a.m. on November 1st: And she hasn’t hit pause yet.
- Your third kid’s name is Prancer: And she already has six more names picked out.
- Hallmark is on the phone requesting to film a Christmas movie at your house: They also called in September. And July.
- She just snorted a line of cinnamon off the counter: That one is kind of impressive, to be honest.
- The mall was closed so she took the children to skid row to sit on the lap of a hobo who kind of looks like Santa: And the hobo really only bore a faint resemblance to Saint Nick.
- The first dance at your wedding was to “Here Comes Santa Claus”: She also danced with her dad to “Petit Papa Noel”.
- All of your kids were born 40 weeks after Christmas: Oh look, yet another September 16th birthday!
- Trick or treaters had to maneuver around a giant inflatable Santa Claus and Nativity scene: She may have a problem.
- Your plastic Baby Jesus just melted in the summer heat: Oh no!!
If your wife exhibits any of the signs listed above, prepare for an early Christmas!
NOT SATIRE: Be Among the First to Receive “The Nativity” iBIBLE Puzzle from RevelationMedia
iBIBLE puzzles have been highly sought after since their release this fall, and their newest puzzle is about to release for the Christmas season! These puzzles are only available through RevelationMedia, and as a Babylon Bee subscriber, you have the first opportunity to get one for your family! These 1,000-piece puzzles are 19″ tall x 28″ wide and feature stunning iBIBLE artwork depicting the nativity scene with Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus in the manger. Enjoy time as a family this holiday season by building this beautiful nativity-themed puzzle together. It’s the perfect indoor, Christmas-themed family activity!
Their culture is not your costume. DO NOT appropriate ghost, zombie, or vampire culture this Halloween.