November is National Adoption Month.
One doesn’t often hear that indecisiveness can be a blessing. For me, it was the difference between life and death – and the presence of a sweet, 5-year-old boy today.
Growing up in a Christian household that emphasized the dignity of life, I was at a loss when I discovered that I was unexpectedly pregnant as a single 23-year-old. I had just been let go from my work and didn’t know what to do.
I regretfully admit that abortion was immediately top of mind.
Thankfully, my close relationship with my mother, my confidant, led me to New Life Adoption, where a compassionate social worker discussed all of my options with me – including adoption.
Abortion was still tempting – a seemingly quick fix – but the more I thought about it, the more that its permanence seeped into my heart. The child in my womb was here with me, right now. Abortion would not only take him away from me, but extinguish his life, forever. There would be no turning back.
Adoption, on the other hand, would allow me more time to consider my options – and still guarantee that, in the end, I wouldn’t need to embrace the parenting role I didn’t feel ready for.
It eventually became clear that adoption was the right path. Thanks to my family, New Life Adoption, and my supportive friends, I had the courage to choose it – and from that moment, everything fell into place.
After flipping through numerous family profile books provided by New Life, some close family friends — who had also previously adopted a child through New Life — asked to be considered. I agreed to interview them over coffee.
I teared up at their vulnerable story of losing twins in their last pregnancy, and their adoption journey with their first son. While I could never replace the two babies they lost, it gave me great comfort to know I could add a second, beautiful life to their family.
Every single birth mother I have encountered has told me the same thing: when they met the right family, it immediately clicked. That is how it was with our family friends: overwhelming relief, certainty, and peace.
I knew that the pregnancy journey was just as important to my son’s adoptive parents as it was to me. I wanted nothing more than for them to build special connections with him from the start, so I asked if they would choose his name – they first chose “James,” a family name for both of us, as his middle.
Deep down, I thought “Samuel” would be the perfect name for him, but never relayed it so as not to pressure them. So, when his adoptive parents came back to suggest the name “Samuel James,” my choice of them as his parents was confirmed.
Samuel’s adoptive family was with me in the hospital as I gave birth. I watched his mom’s eyes light up with tears and joy as she looked at her son for the very first time, and with my permission she snipped his umbilical cord.
For months before labor and delivery, I had feared what it would be like to place my child with someone else, and go home to an empty house. My fears were calmed, however, when I witnessed the completeness of the family in front of me – something that would not have happened if I had continued to consider an abortion.
Thankfully, the joy of that moment, accompanied by the support I had from my family, friends, and especially New Life Adoption, filled me with peace as I walked through my front door after leaving the hospital. In choosing life, and finding the perfect family for my son’s future, I felt more fulfilled than ever before.
I recently moved away to pursue work; yet, even though Samuel is thousands of miles away, I feel his joy in the world. I receive pictures almost daily from his parents, and laugh at their stories of his energy, stubbornness, and compassion – all traits they recognize from me and my family. More than anything, it brings me immense happiness to see the love between Samuel and his brother, and the amazing life they get to live together.
Looking back, I know that none of this would have been possible without the tremendous support I received from my entire family and New Life Adoption – support that gave me the calm and clarity to consider the tragic realities of abortion and the joys possible through adoption.
Whether it be from family, friends, or strangers, I hope every women feels supported and empowered to choose life for her child, even if she knows she isn’t ready to be a parent. There are so many loving couples in the world who will not only embrace your child but you too. My experience with adoption has shown me that life is a precious gift worth giving.
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Sophrona Lavasseur lives in Arizona and is currently working as a sales manager. As a small business owner, she spends her summer weekends in the Midwest as a wedding coordinator with Joyful Day Weddings. Any free time is spent serving on the board of her hometown community festival ambassador program, traveling, and speaking at events surrounding education on adoption.
The views expressed in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.