40 thoughts on “The One Subject You Really Need to Study: Your Own Childhood”
  1. If you had a messed up childhood (like me), do the world a huge favor and commit to not having kids. Every animal passes on small RNA changes to their offspring for no less than 3 generations. That means all the stress, starvation, physical abuse, neglect, or anything else negative WILL BE inherited by your kids!

  2. I had a good childhood. Only recently do I notice the issues my parents had when I was younger and still now. However I am blessed to know that while they weren’t perfect, they always did their best… Based on their limited experience / knowledge or based on the abusive programming given to them by their parents

  3. We could definitely benefit on some level to study our childhood in order to find out how it molded us as adults today. Problem is, any damage that can be done during childhood is just that, already done. So the best we can do with any new-found insight into our childhood is to go into damage control and try to fix what's broken. That is a lot easier said than done. Anyone who had a childhood fraught with trauma and dysfunction can attest to that. What negativity has been deeply ingrained into our psyche from childhood is often next to impossible to remove, and it will always inform how we think, feel and react to some degree. I think the best we can do is to approach it realistically. In other words, try to manage it so we can navigate our adulthood with as few setbacks as possible, and abandon the pipe dream of curing it totally.

  4. Good luck with that!
    Rather than accuse, Ive learned to see my late parents as wounded children as well.
    There’s no perfection in parenthood. Some of us just carry around more guilt than others.

  5. 1) Sooner or later, one must unlearn much of what one was once either forced or adapted to learn.
    2) Sooner or later, one must parent one's Self; must be one's own parent.
    3) An unexamined life might not be worth living.
    4) One's parents are not gods; only humans like everyone and oneself.
    5) Hurt people hurt people.
    6) Integrity, Excellence, Honesty of Character: the only internal battle worth fighting for.

  6. I also have a depressive alcoholic mother and a father who was working most of the time. It wasn’t until my late 20s that I discovered that there is something horribly wrong with my mindset and the way I am used to see the world and the people around me. I did not only isolate myself from my parents but from all possible social relationships – I was just too scared. Never really got any attention or empathy and at the same time was drilled to the max – I remember contemplating to never return home again after school for getting a “C” on my assay. Crazy if I think about it..

  7. I don't remember my childhood before the age of 11. And I noticed that I am a bit too good at getting over traumatic events thereafter and ppl have said I have a good coping mechanism.

    I don't think I do, and frankly I don't know how to process something my mind seems to be over and done with the moment it happens.

  8. The thing about your childhood is that there's always some dirt there. So what you want to do is dig all that up and give it a thorough watering. Then, when you get the icky, slimy consistency you want, you can just dive in and smear that filth all over you. Be sure to really roll around and get it all into you. Now, don't you feel great? And you look as good as you feel! You DO want to wallow in all the past unpleasantness you can conjure, don't you? It's better than being grateful for what you have now, that's for sure!

  9. I don't wish I had a perfect childhood – knowing that perfection does not exist and it's unhealthy to strive for that illusion. However, I do wish that I had an emotionally stable childhood that was fostered and supported by my parents. I don't blame my parents for my emotional instability (which has been highly tumultuous at times) because I'm aware that they were also victims of emotionally unstable childhoods; they never broke that cycle, perhaps they were too scared to dwell deeper into their past as that would bring them a lot of discomfort and anxiety. But that's the answer to healing ourselves; we must seek discomfort by looking deeper into ourselves and fully accepting our past. Instead of beating ourselves over it or passing blame, we need to forgive ourselves (and our parents). That will help us recognize toxicity when it happens and let go of it. Only then we can begin the healing process and become stronger to deal with life's hardships in a healthier way. That takes daily work, constantly being kind & forgiving to yourself. We need to accept that there's always going to be some pain in life (regardless of who you are or become), but that a meaningful life can still be achieved. In return, you will grow significantly more confident and there will be more room for positivity to enter your life. Remember, the goal isn't to live a "perfect" life, the goal is to live a self-loving stable life.

  10. at a young age, i forgot what age but somewhere in primary school, i felt uncomfortable around my parents, i saw my neighbor's family and thought it would be nice to be with them. unfortunately nothing much changed and i didnt have the strength to feel that i can confront my parents. im even scared to ask permission to go out with a friend, right now i dont have friends, only a few aqquantainces in school. i turned 18 a week or so ago. i procrastinate and never do homework which stresses me as im always thinking about work i have to finish, and when i realise that i can just finish it off i feel this immense guilt of why i just didnt do my homework earlier, like when i was 13 or 12 or something.
    its my last year of highschool and i just hope things will be better in university where i can make close friends and be with them, and move out and live away in university. tho i dont have a job so no money , and this covid 19 better stop soon . it feels a bit helpless honestly at times. like covid19 just HAD to come around when im getting a bit excited about moving out to university and having a better life. also i wanna do film in uni, i just realised it recently, before i thought i had to do something academic but i guess not, film feels right. anyways that was a bit of a depressing comment, does anyone know what i should do?

  11. I'm 21 and I just started thinking about this, but maybe because I still live with my parents and see them everyday, I feel bad judging them, like i am dismissing everything great they did for me

  12. It's all a matter of how much you want to wake up to. And what determines that is our spirit leading us through what we can live with. I started on my journey, because my heart told me something was wrong. As I learned and "Awakened", I realized my parents should not have been having children. I was not taught anything that would prepare me for this world. It was subliminal stagger through and be abused, abandoned and not cared about for me. I had no clue about marriage and ended up with a sociopath monster, who terrorized me and the children. I learned a lot the hard way, because my so called parents were selfish, stupid and cruel. All hiding behind Religion, the most horrific monster on the planet. The teaching, everyone is born a sinner, or flawed is insane, and for lazy parents that are selfish and will not take responsibility.

  13. Is it only me who now worry about how to raise my children?
    It seems difficult as I am nowhere near perfect. I would be able to love them unconditionally but not the right way? And if I have to follow certain rules and express certain emotions, say certain things in front of them, will we actually have emotional connection as people?
    And what if I try my best to love them but not the actual right way, will they hate me and I would be the cause of all their trauma?
    Will I ever be qualified enough to have a child, to raise a human being?
    Is it contradicting that we have to learn that we are enough and learn that we are not enough as a parent?
    Btw I am 19 and not even have a partner yet. I just really love children and want to raise them the right way in the future.

  14. I have had people tell me that I should let the past stay in the past… that no good comes from digging around in the past… I always find this so odd… because aren't we 99.999999999% made up of our past… our present goes by so fast that we are barely even conscious of it… so if we ignore our past… we are ignoring everything that makes us who we actually are.

  15. As a parent who is deeply aware of how my screw ups will affect my kids…I have to, for my own sanity say I'm good enough and just do my best to love them, communicate when I've done wrong……The responsibility is huge, you've got the life of another human in your hands…no one would become a parent if they really knew!! And tbh at the end of the day every child when they grow up ie.all of us, has to take responsibility for their own lives and sort stuff or not!! ❤️

  16. I am, that's the beginning of my illegal medical research! What happened to Good Samaritan Hospital, Vaughn Memorial, why so much trauma from my family for no reason, people I didn't know, so called friends, why was I set up in OK, why am I being 24/7 Gang Stalked now?????? WHY???????????

  17. I would want to explore my childhood more but I'm afraid to do it alone. I think a therapyst could be helpful, but I haven't had good experiences with the ones I've visited so far.

  18. At 8 I was offered 2skip 4yrs school 2study in a private college & at 12 I wanted 2speak 12 languages of the world — as a result Im a perfect imperfect human & a control freak & ended up hvg many enemies 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  19. I can't recall anyone ever offering a more complicated project. everything I think about it, I'll have another thought contradicting that one. And what I have observed about the unhelpful things I picked up then, how do you change that perception even though you know it is incorrect.

  20. Bravo. I actually came to realize that years ago and did my work. I recommend everyone to do it. I used Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life" and it helped me a lot. I don't think all that bad stuff from childhood goes away completely, but it develops awareness, which helps seeing and recognizing patterns of behaviors from childhood that are self sabotaging. This is such an important subject. Thank you for this video.

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